Zoe’s Tale PART III Chapter Twenty

Admit it, Enzo rate, with the organizer. You forgot.I did not, I utter, with what I hoped was skilful the safe amount of scandalisation to suggest that I had not forgotten, which I had.I can get a line the fake indignation, he express.Rats, I say. Youre on to me. Finally.Finally? Thithers no finally, Enzo said. Ive been on to you since I met you.Maybe you involve, I allowed.And or so(prenominal) focusing, that doesnt solve this problem, Enzo said. Were near to put down for dinner. Youre supposed to be here. Not to sour you tonus guilty or boththing.This was the difference mingled with me and Enzo in a flash and wherefore. There intentiond to be a era when Enzo would fill said those words and they would entertain come out sounding like he was accusing me of something (besides, of course, being late). But right now they were gentle and funny. Yes, he was exasperated, simply he was exasperated in a way that suggested I baron be able to make it up to him. Whic h I probably would, if he didnt push it.I am in fact wracked with guilt, I said.Good, Enzo said. Because you know we put a whole extra potato in the stew for you.Gracious, I said. A whole potato.And I promised the twins they could throw their carrots at you, he said, referring to his half-size sisters. Because I know how much you fare carrots. Especially when theyre kid-hurled.I dont know why anyone would eat them any other way, I said.And after dinner I was breathing out to read you a poem I wrote for you, Enzo said.I paused. Now thats not fair, I said. Injecting something real into our witty banter.Sorry, Enzo said.Did you really? I asked. You havent written me a poem in ages.I know, he said. I thought I world power get merelyt into practice. I re share you sweet of liked it.You jerk, I said. Now I really do feel guilty for forgetting nigh dinner.Dont feel too guilty, Enzo said. Its not a precise good poem. It doesnt evening rhyme.Well, thats a relief, I said. I still fe lt giddy. Its nice to get poems.Ill ravish it to you, Enzo said. You can read it instead. And and so, peradventure if youre nice to me, Ill read it to you. Dramatically.What if Im mean to you? I asked.Then Ill read it melodramatically, he said. Ill agitate my arms and everything.Youre do a case for me being mean to you, I said.Hey, youre already missing dinner, Enzo said. Thats worth an arm wave or two.Jerk, I said. I could almost date him smile over the arranger.Gotta go, Enzo said. Moms telling me to set the table.Do you requirement me to try to make it? I asked. All of a sudden I really did necessitate to be there. I can try.Youre going to run across the entire colony in cinque minutes? Enzo said.I could do it, I said.Maybe Babar could, Enzo said. But he has two legs much than you.Fine, I said. Ill send Babar to have dinner with you.Enzo laughed. Do that, he said. Ill tell you what, Zoe. Walk here at a argueable pace, and youll probably make it in time for dessert. M om made a pie.Yay, pie, I said. What kind?I guess its called Zoe gets whatever kind of pie she gets and likes it pie, Enzo said.Mmmm, I said. I always like that kind of pie.Well, yeah, Enzo said. Its right there in the title.Its a date, I said.Good, Enzo said. Dont forget. I know thats a problem for you.Jerk, I said. verification your unhorse queue, Enzo said. There might be a poem there.Im going to wait for the hand waving, I said.Thats probably for the lift out, Enzo said. Itll be better that way. And now my mom is glaring at me with laser eyeballs. I have to go.Go, I said. See you soon.Okay, Enzo said. Love you. We had started saying that to individually other recently. It exposemed to fit.Love you too, I said, and disconnected.You two make me want to vomit so intemperately, Gretchen said. Shed been apprehending my side of the conversation and had been rolling her eyes the whole time. We were session in her bedroom.I set down the personal organizer and whacked her with a pillow. Youre just jealous Magdy never says that to you.Oh, dear Lord, Gretchen said. Leaving aside the fact that I so do not want to hear that from him, if he ever did try to say that to me, his head would actually explode in advance the words could even get out of his mouth. Which now that I think about it might be an excellent reason to try to get him to say it.You two are so cute, I said. I can define you two stand up at the altar and getting into it right before saying I do.Zoe, if I ever get anywhere near an altar with Magdy, I authorize you to make a fast(a) tackle and drag me away, Gretchen said.Oh, fine, I said.Now lets never speak of this again, Gretchen said.Youre so in denial, I said.At least Im not the one who forgot her dinner date, Gretchen said.It gets worse, I said. He wrote me poetry. He was going to read it to me.You lost(p) dinner and a show, Gretchen said. You are the worst girlfriend ever.I know, I said. I reached for my PDA. Ill write him an vindication note saying that.Make it extra grovelly, Gretchen said. Because thats sexy.That comment explains a lot about you, Gretchen, I said, and then my PDA took on a life of its own, blasting an alarm sound from its speaker and scrolling an air ack-ack notice on its screen. Over on Gretchens desk, her PDA made the equivalent alarm sound and scrolled the same message. Every PDA in the colony did the same. In the distance, we heard the sirens, posted near the Mennonite homesteads, alerting them because they didnt use personal technology.For the front time since the defeat of the Conclave fleet, Roanoke was under attack. Missiles were on their way.I rushed to the opening of Gretchens room. Where are you going? she asked. I ignored her and went outside, where race were bursting out of their homes and running for cover, and looked into the sky.What are you doing? Gretchen said, catching up with me. We need to get to a entertain.Look, I said, and pointed.In the distance, a bright needle of light was exa tap across the sky, aiming at something we couldnt quite see. Then there was a flash, blinding white. There was a acknowledgment satellite above Roanoke it had fired on and hit one of the missiles coming for us. But others were still on their way.The sharp pop of the missile explosion reached us, with not nearly enough time lag.Come on, Zoe, Gretchen said, and started tugging at me. Weve got to go.I s outgoped looking at the sky and ran with Gretchen to one of the community fosters we had recently excavated and built it was pickaxe up quickly with colonists. As I ran I saw hickory and Dickory, who had spotted me they closed in and took either side of me as we got into the shelter. Even in the panic, hoi polloi still made room for them. Gretchen, Hickory, Dickory, about four dozen other colonists, and I all hunched down in the shelter, straining to hear what was going on above us through nearly a dozen feet of dirt and concrete.What do you think is happ someone said and then there was unspeakable wrenching noise, like someone had taken one of the cargo containers that made up the colony wall and peeled it a spokesperson, right on top of our eardrums and then I was tumbling to the cornerstone because there was an earthquake and I screamed and bet that everyone else in the shelter did too but I couldnt hear it because then came the single loudest noise I had ever heard, so loud that my brain surrendered and the noise became the absence of noise, and the only way I knew that I, at least, was still screaming was that I could feel my throat getting raw. Either Hickory or Dickory grabbed me and held me steady I could see Gretchen being held the same way by the other Obin.The lights in the shelter flickered but stayed on.Eventually I halt screaming and the ground stopped shaking and something similar to my hearing came clog up to me and I could hear others in the shelter crying and praying and trying to calm children. I looked over at Gretch en, who looked stricken. I untangle from Dickory (it turned out) and went over to her.You okay? I asked. My voice sounded like it was pushed through cotton from a distance. Gretchen nodded but didnt look at me. It occurred to me it was the first time shed been in an attack.I looked around. Most of the people in the shelter looked like Gretchen. It was the first time any of these people had been in an attack. Of all these people, I was the one who was the experient of a hostile attack. I guess that put me in charge.I saw a PDA on the floor someone had dropped it. I picked it up and activated it and read what was there. Then I stood up and waved my hands back and forth and said Excuse me until people started looking at me. I think enough people recognized me as the daughter of the colony leaders that they decided I might know something after all.The emergency information on the PDA says that the attack seems to be over, I said when enough people were looking my way. But until we get an all clear argue we need to stay here in the shelter. We need to stay here and stay calm. Is anyone here injured or sick?I cant hear very hale, someone said.I dont think any of us can hear well right now, I said. Thats why Im yelling. It was an attempt at a joke. I dont think people were going for it. Are there any injuries here besides hearing loss? No one said anything or raised their hand. Then lets just sit tight here and wait for the all clear. I held up the PDA I was using. Whose is this? soulfulness raised their hand I asked if I could borrow it.Someone took in charge lessons when I wasnt looking, Gretchen said when I sat back down next to her. The words were authorized Gretchen, but the voice was very, very shaky.We were just under attack, I said. If someone doesnt pretend like she knows what shes doing, people are going to start freaking out. That would be bad.Not arguing, Gretchen said. Just impressed. She pointed to the PDA. tidy sum you send any messages? Can we find out whats happening?I dont think so, I said. The emergency system overrides usual messaging, I think. I signed out the owner on the PDA and signed in under my account. See. Enzo said he move that poem to me but its not there yet. Its probably queued and will get sent once we have the all clear.So we dont know if everyone else is okay, Gretchen said.Im sure well get an all clear signal soon, I said. You worried about your tonic?Yes. Arent you worried about your parents? Gretchen asked.They were soldiers, I said. Theyve done this before. Im worried about them, but Im betting theyre fine. And Jane is the one running the emergency messages. As long as theyre updating, shes fine. The PDA switched over from my mail queue to a scrolling note we were being given the all clear. See, I said.I had Hickory and Dickory larn the entrance of the shelter for any falling debris it was clear. I signed out from the PDA and gave it back to its owner, and then folks started shuffling out. Gretche n and I were the last to head up.Watch your step, Gretchen said as we came up, and pointed to the ground. Glass was everywhere. I looked around. All the houses and buildings were standing, but almost all the windows were blown out. Wed be picking glaze over out of everything for days.At least its been nice weather, I said. No one seemed to hear me. Probably just as well.I said good-bye to Gretchen and headed to my house with Hickory and Dickory. I found much scratch in surprising places and Babar cowering in the shower stall. I managed to coax him out and gave him a big hug. He licked my face with increasing franticness. After I petted him and calmed him down, I reached for my PDA to call Mom or Dad, and then realized I had left it over at Gretchens. I had Hickory and Dickory stay with Babar he require their company more than I did at the moment and walked over to Gretchens. As I walked to her house, her apparent motion door swung open and Gretchen burst through it, saw me an d ran to me, her PDA in one hand and mine in the other.Zoe, she said, and then her face tightened up, and whatever she had to say was lost for a minute.Oh, no, I said. Gretchen. Gretchen. What is it? Is it your dad? Is your dad okay?Gretchen shook her head, and looked up at me. Its not my dad, she said. My dad is fine. Its not Dad. Zoe, Magdy just called me. He says something hit. summate Enzos homestead. He said the house is still there but theres something big in the yard. He thinks its part of a missile. Says he tried to call Enzo but hes not there. No ones there. No ones answering there. He said they just built a bomb shelter, away from the house. In the yard, Zoe. Magdy says he keeps calling and no one answers. I just called Enzo, too. I dont get anything, Zoe. It doesnt even connect. I keep trying. Oh God, Zoe. Oh God, Zoe. Oh, God.Enzo Paulo Gugino was natural on Zhong Guo, the first child of Bruno and Natalie Gugino. Bruno and Natalie had known each other since they were c hildren and everyone who knew them knew that from the first moment they laid eyes on each other that they would be together for every single moment of their lives. Bruno and Natalie didnt argue with this idea. Bruno and Natalie, as cold as anyone ever knew, never argued about anything, and certainly didnt argue with each other. They married young, even for the late religious culture they lived in on Zhong Guo, in which people often married early. But no one could cypher the two of them not being together their parents gave their consent and the two of them were married in one of the scoop out-attended weddings anyone could remember in their hometown of Pomona Falls. Nine months later, almost to the day, there was Enzo.Enzo was sweet from the moment he was born he was always happy and only occasionally fussy, although (as was frequently explained, much to his later mortification) he had a marked tendency to take off his own diapers and smear the contents of them against the near est available wall. This caused a real problem one time in a bank. Fortunately he was toilet-trained early.Enzo met his best friend Magdy Metwalli in kindergarten. On the first day of school, a third-grader had tried to pick on Enzo, and pushed him hard down to the ground Magdy, whom Enzo had never seen before in his life, launched himself at the third-grader and started punching him in the face. Magdy, who at the time was refined for his age, did no real damage other than scaring the pee out of the third-grader (literally) it was Enzo who eventually pulled Magdy off the third-grader and calmed him down before they were all sent to the principals office and then home for the day.Enzo showed a flair for words early and wrote his first story when he was seven, en title The horrible sock that smelled bad and ate Pomona Falls except for my house, in which a large sock, mutated by its own horrible unwashed smell, started eating its way through the contents of an entire town and was thw arted only when the heroes Enzo and Magdy first punched it into submission and then threw it into a swimming kitty-cat filled with laundry soap. The first part of the story (about the origin of the sock) took three sentences the climactic battle panorama took three pages. Rumor is Magdy (the one reading the story, not the one in it) kept asking for more of the fight scene.When Enzo was ten his mother became pregnant for a second time, with twins Maria and Katherina. The pregnancy was difficult, and complicate because Natalies body had a hard time keeping two babies in it at once the lecture was a near thing and Natalie came close to bleeding out more than once. It took Natalie more than a year to fully recover, and during that time the ten- and eleven-year-old Enzo helped his founding father and mother to care for his sisters, learning to change diapers and feed the girls when his mom needed a rest. This was the occasion of the only real fight between Magdy and Enzo Magdy joki ngly called Enzo a sissy for serving his mom, and Enzo smacked him in the mouth.When Enzo was fifteen the Guginos and the Metwallis and two other families they knew entered a group application to be part of the very first colony world made up of citizens of the Colonial Union rather than citizens of Earth. For the next a couple of(prenominal) months every part of Enzos life, and the life of his family, was opened up to scrutiny, and he bore it with as much change as anyone who was fifteen and who mostly just cherished to be left alone could have. Every member of every family was required to submit a statement explaining why they wanted to be part of the colony. Bruno Gugino explained how he had been a fan of the American Colonization era, and the early history of the Colonial Union he wanted to be part of this new chapter of history. Natalie Gugino wrote about wanting to raise her family on a world where everyone was works together. Maria and Katherina drew pictures of them floa ting in space with smiley moons.Enzo, who lovemakingd words more and more, wrote a poem, imagining himself standing on a new world, and titled it The Stars My Destination. He later admitted hed taken the title from an obscure fantasy adventure book that hed never read but whose title stayed with him. The poem, meant only for his application, was leaked to the local media and became something of a sensation. It eventually became sort of an official unofficial anthem for the Zhong Guo colonization effort. And after all that, Enzo and his family and co-applicants really couldnt not be chosen to go.When Enzo had just turned sixteen, he met a girl, named Zoe, and for some reason that passes understanding, he fell for her. Zoe was a girl who seemed like she knew what she was doing most of the time and was happy to tell you that this was in fact the case, all the time, but in their private moments, Enzo learned that Zoe was as nervous and unsealed and panic-struck that she would say or do something stupid to scare away this boy she thought she might love, as he was nervous and uncertain and terrified that he would do something stupid, too. They talked and touched and held and kissed and learned how not to be nervous and uncertain and terrified of each other. They did say and do stupid things, and they did eventually scare each other away, because they didnt know any better. But then they got over it, and when they were together again, that second time, they didnt wonder whether they might love each other. Because they knew they did. And they told each other so.On the day Enzo died he talked to Zoe, joked with her about her missing the dinner she was supposed to have with his family, and promised to send her a poem he had written for her. Then he told her he loved her and heard her tell him she loved him. Then he sent her the poem and sat down with his family to dinner. When the emergency alert came, the Gugino family, father Bruno, mother Natalie, daughters Mari a and Katherina, and son Enzo, went together into the attack shelter Bruno and Enzo had made just a week before, and sat together close, holding each other and waiting for the all clear.On the day Enzo died he knew he was loved. He knew he was loved by his mother and father who, like everyone knew, never stopped loving each other until the very moment they died. Their love for each other became their love for him, and for their daughters. He knew he was loved by his sisters, who he cared for when they were small, and when he was small. He knew he was loved by his best friend, who he never stopped getting out of smother, and who he never stopped getting into trouble with. And he knew he was loved by Zoe by me who he called his love and who said the words back to him.Enzo lived a life of love, from the moment he was born until the moment he died. So many people go through life without love. Wanting love. Hoping for love. Hungering for more of it than they have. Missing love when i t was gone. Enzo never had to go through that. Would never have to.All he knew all his life was love.I have to think it was enough.It would have to be, now.I spent the day with Gretchen and Magdy and all of Enzos friends, of whom there were so many, crying and laughing and remembering him, and then at some point I couldnt take any more because everyone had begun to treat me like Enzos widow and though in a way I felt like I was, I didnt want to have to share that with anyone. It was mine and I wanted to be greedy for it for just a picayune while. Gretchen saw I had reached some sort of breaking point, and walked me back to her room and told me to get some rest, and that shed check on me later. Then she gave me a fierce hug, kissed me on the temple and told me she loved me and closed the door shadower me. I lay there in Gretchens bed and tried not to think and did a attractive good job of it until I remembered Enzos poem, waiting for me in my mail queue.Gretchen had put my PDA on her desk and I walked over, took the PDA and sat back down on the bed, and pulled up my mail queue and saw the mail from Enzo. I reached to press the screen to retrieve it and then called up the directory instead. I found the folder titled Enzo Dodgeball and opened it and started playing the files, watching as Enzo flailed his way around the dodgeball court, taking hits to the face and tumbling to the ground with unbelievable comic timing. I watched until I laughed so hard that I could barely see, and had to put the PDA down for a minute to concentrate on the simple act of breathing in and out.When I had mastered that again, I picked up the PDA, called up the mail queue, and opened the mail from Enzo.ZoeHere you are. Youll have to imagine the arm waving for now. But the live show is coming That is, after we have pie. Mmmmpie.BELONGYou said I perish to youAnd I agreeBut the quality of that belongingIs a question of some importance.I do not belong to youLike a purchaseSomething orde red and soldAnd delivered in a boxTo be put up and shown offTo friends and admirers.I would not belong to you that wayAnd I know you would not have me so.I will tell you how I belong to you.I belong to you like a ring on a fingerA symbol of something eternal.I belong to you like a heart in a chestBeating in time to another heart.I belong to you like a word on the airSending love to your ear.I belong to you like a kiss on your lipsPut there by me, in the hope of more to come.And most of all I belong to youBecause in where I hold my hopesI hold the hope that you belong to me.It is a hope I unfold for you now like a gift.Belong to me like a ringAnd a heartAnd a wordAnd a kissAnd like a hope held close.I will belong to you like all these thingsAnd also something moreSomething we will discover between usAnd will belong to us alone.You said I belong to youAnd I agree.Tell me you belong to me, too.I wait for your wordAnd hope for your kiss.Love you.Enzo.I love you, too, Enzo. I love you.I miss you.